I recall a conversation I had with a friend over the summer. At the lab there is a technician who repeats the same experiments over and over again, every single day of her life - well, every single day she works. My friend and I were convinced that her job was a career which was not meant for us because we would literally kill ourselves due to the same repetitive nature of the work and its associated monotony. When he joked that if I fail at my career I could be that future technician, I told him that "I'd rather be a housewife than her."
Like other Western men, he believes that women who are stay-at-home moms make a waste of their lives. I chose to disagree with him because I personally feel that it's a huge responsibility to raise kids who are not only intellectually stimulated but are also socially responsible. What I chose to not explain to him was that how for us Muslims we also have the responsibility of raising our kids to be good Muslims and to be successful in the hereafter in addition to being successful in this world. But to speak the truth, I can't even think on those lines right now because I personally feel that being a mother is so taxing. I literally salute all our moms after coming back from Sunday school today.
It was the same regular draining day with a little tweak: lunch did not arrive on time. All the kids started shouting and being uneasy because they wanted food. It was so hard to control them. Not to mention my previous efforts of trying to make my little kids memorize Surah Fatiha. While they waited for food, I lost control of myself during a couple of moments especially when I had to shout at John when he threw an empty juice box across the circle of kids. I regret that because this is the type of attention kids seek, and I sort of gave in. I now realize why my mom shouts at my youngest siblings. Parenting is such a tough job. I wonder if I could be a working mother or not? Or maybe I would need to get out in order to get a dose of sanity. But I lean on the opinion that being a mother is indeed a full-time job. I guess time shall tell me insha'Allah.
I need to study for my psychology exam . Now.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday School Day 2
I have always found little kids very adorable but most of the times I would admire them at a distance. A smile, an eye-contact, but usually I am not physical and don't want to grab them like some of my other friends would. I like to observe them in their own little worlds. However, I put myself at a different position when I volunteered to teach them at the Sunday school at the local mosque in the college area.
I slept after 5:00am in the morning. Waking up in the morning at 9:00 was a pain. Shaytan failed in convincing me that I should not go. My last week was not very good. It was exhausting to teach 4-5 years olds who don't have a very long concentration span and since the Sunday school is not very organized at the mosque, it was even harder to follow a set track. A bunch of undergraduate and graduate students in the Amherst area volunteer to teach Muslim kids some basic Islamic knowledge which includes memorizing small surahs or chapters from the Qur'an, Arabic and Islamic Studies in which we teach them brief stories about the Prophet Muhammad's p.b.u.h. life. I have not experience such a thing back in my home country and certainly it has been a new learning experience for me too, mashaAllah. Last week when I returned back, I was drained and had made my mind to tell the other sisters that I can't handle the youngest group of kids because they are a huge responsibility and because I am not a mother or have not catered to young kids' except my brother's demands in a long time (my youngest brother was 8 when I left for college and have seen him only once last summer). I am glad that I did not notify the other sisters of my decision because today, alhamdolillah, it was very different.
I have four kids in my group - today only three from last week turned up. All of them are the youngest amongst the 28-30 kids at the Sunday school. Today a new girl joined our group. Her name is Maria and her mom seemed to be a new convert because she wanted to stay back and learn as well. I had a lot of trouble (and embarrassment in front of Maria's mom) when I was teaching the kids Quran because of two reasons. Ahmad, mashaAllah a cutie aged 5, knew too much and was getting bored because other kids were behind; and Malak, a girl who's probably 5 as well would not utter a single word. I felt very annoyed that I couldn't make her feel very comfortable and when I asked Haris, 4, to talk to her and ask her to speak, he responded:
"She's kind of shy which is why she does not say much."
I confess, I slaved through the Quran session until it was time for Arabic and I was glad to see a sister who had just arrived, intervene. I stood up and observed her and to my shock, Malak was speaking to the other sister so fluently and was laughing with her. When the sister asked her to recite Surah Fatiha (she had denied several times when I asked her saying that she didn't know it), she surprised everyone by reciting it in a single go! Children: I guess they are such a mystery.
We had a snack break when the kids ate Oreos and crackers and drank juice. Getting them back to their small groups for Islamic studies was another hassle. Maria left but the rest of my kids were obedient enough and alhamdolillah, Malak, was making small conversation with me now. I told her, "Wow! You are talking to me now," upon which she smiled and shied away.
I chose a book called "A to Z of Akhlaq." Akhlaq stands for manners in Arabic. It was fun but difficult trying to keep the kids engaged. Apparently Haris knew the pictures too well. He would point out at them and tell the story to the other kids while Ahmad lay down on the carpet and respond whenever prompted. Haris and Ahmad were done with the book but Malak wanted to stick with it. It was a cute book with A is for Akhlaq, B is for backbiting, C is for cleanliness etc. etc. When I saw they were getting too restless, we all stood up and jumped until we were exhausted. I know it's a bit odd for a woman to be jumping in the mosque, but well, there's no way around handling kids but physical stimulation. I think we continued until M or N until the imam announced that all kids should make wudu or ablution for the prayer. I wanted to leave but when I heard the adhaan or the call to prayer, according to what I believe - once the adhaan is called, one should pray and then leave the mosque - I decided to stay back and pray. I also helped tidying up the mosque and was amazed at the kids' self discipline who formed lines outside the restroom in order to make wudu. When the prayer time commenced, for first time in my life I prayed in a row consisting of more kids than adults. In the end when I was still sitting after my prayers, Haris came and hugged me and said salam to me because he was leaving. I told him that "K is for keeping promises" and that he should keep his promise that he will bring his notebook next Sunday - he didn't bring it this week. He promised me and ran off.
When the mosque got quiet as the kids left, I realized that alhamdolillah I made the right decision to go today. I had to wait for an hour for the next bus and when I came back to my college I couldn't resist to go for a swim and relax because I was so drained. Swimming was good. The day was good but unfortunately I have not done an atom of work today. It's 10pm almost. Thirteen hours since I have been awake. My work night will begin now after isha prayers insha'Allah and may I be a bit productive. Ameen.
I at least wasted an hour watching my friend's autistic nephew's videos. He is so cute masha'Allah and his mom is one of the strongest women I know. His recent video was him singing Roses are Red. Never heard that song before until now and I guess it really goes well with my experience at the Sunday school:
Khaled singing
I slept after 5:00am in the morning. Waking up in the morning at 9:00 was a pain. Shaytan failed in convincing me that I should not go. My last week was not very good. It was exhausting to teach 4-5 years olds who don't have a very long concentration span and since the Sunday school is not very organized at the mosque, it was even harder to follow a set track. A bunch of undergraduate and graduate students in the Amherst area volunteer to teach Muslim kids some basic Islamic knowledge which includes memorizing small surahs or chapters from the Qur'an, Arabic and Islamic Studies in which we teach them brief stories about the Prophet Muhammad's p.b.u.h. life. I have not experience such a thing back in my home country and certainly it has been a new learning experience for me too, mashaAllah. Last week when I returned back, I was drained and had made my mind to tell the other sisters that I can't handle the youngest group of kids because they are a huge responsibility and because I am not a mother or have not catered to young kids' except my brother's demands in a long time (my youngest brother was 8 when I left for college and have seen him only once last summer). I am glad that I did not notify the other sisters of my decision because today, alhamdolillah, it was very different.
I have four kids in my group - today only three from last week turned up. All of them are the youngest amongst the 28-30 kids at the Sunday school. Today a new girl joined our group. Her name is Maria and her mom seemed to be a new convert because she wanted to stay back and learn as well. I had a lot of trouble (and embarrassment in front of Maria's mom) when I was teaching the kids Quran because of two reasons. Ahmad, mashaAllah a cutie aged 5, knew too much and was getting bored because other kids were behind; and Malak, a girl who's probably 5 as well would not utter a single word. I felt very annoyed that I couldn't make her feel very comfortable and when I asked Haris, 4, to talk to her and ask her to speak, he responded:
"She's kind of shy which is why she does not say much."
I confess, I slaved through the Quran session until it was time for Arabic and I was glad to see a sister who had just arrived, intervene. I stood up and observed her and to my shock, Malak was speaking to the other sister so fluently and was laughing with her. When the sister asked her to recite Surah Fatiha (she had denied several times when I asked her saying that she didn't know it), she surprised everyone by reciting it in a single go! Children: I guess they are such a mystery.
We had a snack break when the kids ate Oreos and crackers and drank juice. Getting them back to their small groups for Islamic studies was another hassle. Maria left but the rest of my kids were obedient enough and alhamdolillah, Malak, was making small conversation with me now. I told her, "Wow! You are talking to me now," upon which she smiled and shied away.
I chose a book called "A to Z of Akhlaq." Akhlaq stands for manners in Arabic. It was fun but difficult trying to keep the kids engaged. Apparently Haris knew the pictures too well. He would point out at them and tell the story to the other kids while Ahmad lay down on the carpet and respond whenever prompted. Haris and Ahmad were done with the book but Malak wanted to stick with it. It was a cute book with A is for Akhlaq, B is for backbiting, C is for cleanliness etc. etc. When I saw they were getting too restless, we all stood up and jumped until we were exhausted. I know it's a bit odd for a woman to be jumping in the mosque, but well, there's no way around handling kids but physical stimulation. I think we continued until M or N until the imam announced that all kids should make wudu or ablution for the prayer. I wanted to leave but when I heard the adhaan or the call to prayer, according to what I believe - once the adhaan is called, one should pray and then leave the mosque - I decided to stay back and pray. I also helped tidying up the mosque and was amazed at the kids' self discipline who formed lines outside the restroom in order to make wudu. When the prayer time commenced, for first time in my life I prayed in a row consisting of more kids than adults. In the end when I was still sitting after my prayers, Haris came and hugged me and said salam to me because he was leaving. I told him that "K is for keeping promises" and that he should keep his promise that he will bring his notebook next Sunday - he didn't bring it this week. He promised me and ran off.
When the mosque got quiet as the kids left, I realized that alhamdolillah I made the right decision to go today. I had to wait for an hour for the next bus and when I came back to my college I couldn't resist to go for a swim and relax because I was so drained. Swimming was good. The day was good but unfortunately I have not done an atom of work today. It's 10pm almost. Thirteen hours since I have been awake. My work night will begin now after isha prayers insha'Allah and may I be a bit productive. Ameen.
I at least wasted an hour watching my friend's autistic nephew's videos. He is so cute masha'Allah and his mom is one of the strongest women I know. His recent video was him singing Roses are Red. Never heard that song before until now and I guess it really goes well with my experience at the Sunday school:
Khaled singing
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