Dedicated to all my friends who stood by side in the last three years.
(Written on May 26th, 2011)
On the authority of Abdullah ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with them both), he relates that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) once held my shoulders and said:
“Live in this world as (if you are) a wayfarer or a stranger.” And Abdullah ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with them both) used to say: “If you live till night, then do not wait for the next day (i.e. do not have hopes that you will live to the next day), and if you wake up in the morning do not have hope that you will live till the night. And take (advantage) from your health before your sickness and take advantage of your life before your death (i.e. do every possible obedience in your life before death comes to you for then no deeds can be performed.)” [Bukhari and Tirmidhi]
As Muslims, we hear this hadith many times in our lives but the true wisdom of it may not be understood by us except by those who are the friends of Allah swt and devote their whole lives in the path of Islam or by a traveler. Does being a traveler entitle one to have no attachments to the temporary? Maybe? Unfortunately even though I am a traveler, I tend to do the otherwise and attach myself to certain people when I move about in the world. As soon as I realize that they are really important in my lives, it is time to leave that city/state/country and then I have to start all over again. To a third person the idea may seem as an exciting one but truthfully speaking it is one of the most difficult things I have to do in my life - over and over again.
When I left Karachi on 28th August, 2008, my friends were my everything and I thought each one of us would be friends forever. Three years down the line only the true ones remained whereas the others moved on. Some got closer, some distanced out. Sometimes I wonder whether it was even worth spending my time and energy on some but probably that's what the situation required from me at that time? After two years at Mount Holyoke, then came a summer in Boston. Got reunited with a friend from Pakistan and made new friends. I do not regret getting close to my old and new friends in Boston but saying goodbyes at the end of the summer took an immense emotional toll. It was the second time I shed tears upon departing a city, the first being Karachi of course. I knew I would always be able to come back but the fear of moving away from those who strengthened me everyday made me despondent.
First semester of junior year at college: I never imagined myself getting close to some people but yet I did. Others wondered that how could we get along so well despite our differences but I suppose friendship does not see gender, beliefs or religion. It only connects our hearts and indeed my heart got attached to my friends. Promises were made of staying in touch but upon coming to Glasgow, those promises lost the battle to the academic/work commitments. I understood and moved on assuming that I would be friendless in Glasgow as I was the odd one out in the study abroad batch: the only Muslim, a nondrinker, a non-partier who couldn't afford to travel much outside of Glasgow.
I was wrong. My heart gave in yet again and fresh faces entered my life. I used to scoff at the idea of having your closest friends from those who seek the path of Islam (literally submission to God) and it was the first time in life I understood their true significance. They gave me the strength I hadn't received in a long time. They understood my internal and external struggles and gave solutions that were relevant and helpful. However, it was time to move on again and I was left doubting the promises made even though I have faith that they will not be broken inshaAllah.
Left Glasgow and arrived in Boston. It wasn't until I left Boston again that the nostalgia of the past and the anxiety of the future ten weeks hit me. I am expecting another adventure in Baltimore, Maryland inshaAllah. A new city and a new state. New place, new people. I hope to see some old friends in Maryland too but don't really know what to anticipate. A part of me wants to remain impartial and not depend on new friends but a part of me wants to explore more and be open to new experiences. I wish I could balance the two so that every time I leave a city, it doesn't hurt that much but I suppose this is what life is for me now. The life of a foolish traveler who tries to make an abode for herself inevitably everywhere she goes.
However, time has made me learn an important lesson: people leave me and I leave people but there is One who NEVER leaves my side. Whichever place in the world, whatever the circumstances, Allah is only One who is always by my side and understands every feeling of mine. He never abandons me and is beneficent on me even in times when I have turned away from Him. How grateful may can I be to Him for giving me such amazing friends and family in my life! Alhamdolillah (all praise to Allah)!
In return I pray to Him to grant me the ability to actually live in this world like a real traveler and do whatever good I can do in this short life of mine to make Him happy and fulfill my responsibilities towards His creation so that when my ultimate departure time i.e. death comes, I am not at all nostalgic about this life. Ameen.
(Written on May 26th, 2011)
“Live in this world as (if you are) a wayfarer or a stranger.” And Abdullah ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with them both) used to say: “If you live till night, then do not wait for the next day (i.e. do not have hopes that you will live to the next day), and if you wake up in the morning do not have hope that you will live till the night. And take (advantage) from your health before your sickness and take advantage of your life before your death (i.e. do every possible obedience in your life before death comes to you for then no deeds can be performed.)” [Bukhari and Tirmidhi]
As Muslims, we hear this hadith many times in our lives but the true wisdom of it may not be understood by us except by those who are the friends of Allah swt and devote their whole lives in the path of Islam or by a traveler. Does being a traveler entitle one to have no attachments to the temporary? Maybe? Unfortunately even though I am a traveler, I tend to do the otherwise and attach myself to certain people when I move about in the world. As soon as I realize that they are really important in my lives, it is time to leave that city/state/country and then I have to start all over again. To a third person the idea may seem as an exciting one but truthfully speaking it is one of the most difficult things I have to do in my life - over and over again.
When I left Karachi on 28th August, 2008, my friends were my everything and I thought each one of us would be friends forever. Three years down the line only the true ones remained whereas the others moved on. Some got closer, some distanced out. Sometimes I wonder whether it was even worth spending my time and energy on some but probably that's what the situation required from me at that time? After two years at Mount Holyoke, then came a summer in Boston. Got reunited with a friend from Pakistan and made new friends. I do not regret getting close to my old and new friends in Boston but saying goodbyes at the end of the summer took an immense emotional toll. It was the second time I shed tears upon departing a city, the first being Karachi of course. I knew I would always be able to come back but the fear of moving away from those who strengthened me everyday made me despondent.
First semester of junior year at college: I never imagined myself getting close to some people but yet I did. Others wondered that how could we get along so well despite our differences but I suppose friendship does not see gender, beliefs or religion. It only connects our hearts and indeed my heart got attached to my friends. Promises were made of staying in touch but upon coming to Glasgow, those promises lost the battle to the academic/work commitments. I understood and moved on assuming that I would be friendless in Glasgow as I was the odd one out in the study abroad batch: the only Muslim, a nondrinker, a non-partier who couldn't afford to travel much outside of Glasgow.
I was wrong. My heart gave in yet again and fresh faces entered my life. I used to scoff at the idea of having your closest friends from those who seek the path of Islam (literally submission to God) and it was the first time in life I understood their true significance. They gave me the strength I hadn't received in a long time. They understood my internal and external struggles and gave solutions that were relevant and helpful. However, it was time to move on again and I was left doubting the promises made even though I have faith that they will not be broken inshaAllah.
Left Glasgow and arrived in Boston. It wasn't until I left Boston again that the nostalgia of the past and the anxiety of the future ten weeks hit me. I am expecting another adventure in Baltimore, Maryland inshaAllah. A new city and a new state. New place, new people. I hope to see some old friends in Maryland too but don't really know what to anticipate. A part of me wants to remain impartial and not depend on new friends but a part of me wants to explore more and be open to new experiences. I wish I could balance the two so that every time I leave a city, it doesn't hurt that much but I suppose this is what life is for me now. The life of a foolish traveler who tries to make an abode for herself inevitably everywhere she goes.
However, time has made me learn an important lesson: people leave me and I leave people but there is One who NEVER leaves my side. Whichever place in the world, whatever the circumstances, Allah is only One who is always by my side and understands every feeling of mine. He never abandons me and is beneficent on me even in times when I have turned away from Him. How grateful may can I be to Him for giving me such amazing friends and family in my life! Alhamdolillah (all praise to Allah)!
In return I pray to Him to grant me the ability to actually live in this world like a real traveler and do whatever good I can do in this short life of mine to make Him happy and fulfill my responsibilities towards His creation so that when my ultimate departure time i.e. death comes, I am not at all nostalgic about this life. Ameen.
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