I went for umrah, an optional and "lesser" pilgrimage to Makkah (and Madina), Saudi Arabia, between January 4th and 13th, 2014, with a group of Muslims under the leadership of Imam Suhaib Webb, and Ella Collins Institute. Now that I am back, I will be sharing my reflections with everyone through this series, God willing.
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| The Ka'aba, as captured by my camera one beautiful morning in Makkah |
I had not offered a funeral prayer for a long time, maybe months, before I went for umrah. Our community, alhamdulillah, does not have that many funerals to begin with, not to mention that my work schedule doesn't really allow me to join the blessing of praying with the family and community of the dead. The first time I stood and joined a funeral prayer in Madina, I was shaken to the core when I heard the word, الاطفال. I shuddered because in my broken Arabic I had understood that there were at least three kids' dead bodies in the front rows of the mosque upon whom I was praying. It was not only a humbling experience but an intimidating one with the realization that God has given me life beyond childhood1 to acquire the double-edged sword of free will so that I could "choose" how to live my life and what state would I be ready to die and face my Creator.
As Muslims, we are supposed to remember death every single day of our lives because we believe that the life of this world is nothing more than what the Quran eloquently describes it to be:
ٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌۢ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِى ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَوْلَٰدِ ۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيْثٍ أَعْجَبَ ٱلْكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُۥ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَىٰهُ مُصْفَرًّا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَٰمًا ۖ وَفِى ٱلْءَاخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضْوَٰنٌ ۚ وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا مَتَٰعُ ٱلْغُرُورِ
"Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) Forgiveness from God and (His) Good Pleasure, whereas the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment." - Quran 57:20
"Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) Forgiveness from God and (His) Good Pleasure, whereas the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment." - Quran 57:20
Since there is no denial that "every soul shall taste death (Quran 29:57)", death is an inevitability Muslim or non-Muslim, all submit to. With that being said, death was never as real until I was reminded of it through the funeral prayers, five times a day, in both Makkah and Madina. Out of the eight days I was in the two holy cities, only once did we not have a funeral and to my surprise, it rather seemed bizarre why no one had died within the 2-3 hours' window between the two prayers of that particular day! To be honest, I actually looked forward to praying a funeral prayer after every congregational prayer for the reality check of death, including the selfish reason of earning reward2. It was the latter sadistic realization that brought me back to reality upon which I immediately thanked God that no one had lost a loved one, or someone we prayed upon, within those hours.
Madina was more powerful when it came to the reminder of death because of the placement of Jannat ul-Baqi', the cemetery right adjacent to Masjid al-Nabawi where almost 20,000 of Prophet Muhammad's family and companions are buried including common folk who die in Madina till this day. Unfortunately, women are not allowed in Baqi' despite the prayer of visiting the graveyards reaching us from the mouth of a woman.3 So, being the rebellious woman that I am, I would often go to one of the corners of Baqi' from where I could peek in, and sometimes, even chase a funeral procession and watch it go down the cemetery until I lost it in the distance. I liked going there in the peace of the night and would hold the bars of Baqi' and stare at the thousands of unmarked graves ahead of me. I would pray that may God make me and my generations like Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions (may God be pleased with all of them), most of who lay ahead of me. At times I would even force myself to imagine myself in a grave with one of my favorite ayahs4 of the Quran playing in my head:
الْمَالُ وَالْبَنُونَ زِينَةُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَالْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتُ خَيْرٌ عِنْدَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَابًا وَخَيْرٌ أَمَلًا
Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope. - Quran 18:46
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| Jannat ul-Baqi', Madina |
As I prepared to leave Makkah, I was scared. I was scared that once I returned to the States, I would fall back into the heedlessness of life and no longer feel the spiritual high that I felt amidst these sacred places. I felt scared that the daily reminder of death would no longer be as strong once I returned, and as I clamored to fulfill the base desires of my body, I may even put the greater purpose of my life on the side. In this desperation, I ended up recording the audio of the dawn prayer on my last day in Makkah because I wanted to take away a part of the serenity that I felt in these mosques. As soon as I put my phone down for the recording, I broke down into a burst of tears when I realized that God had already answered one of my prayers because the famous Shaykh Sudais, who I had not heard since we came to Makkah, was leading the prayers.
I wept with him while he led away the prayers. After two weeks of returning from Makkah, I now share the recording with you all in hopes that it intellectually, emotionally and spiritually blows you away like it blew me away:
Quran 75:20-40 - Shaykh Sudais, Makkah
(The translation of the ayahs in the recording above can be found here: http://quran.com/75)
(The translation of the ayahs in the recording above can be found here: http://quran.com/75)
I now understand that what God wanted me to bring back from Makkah was indeed the reminder of death. And that, there is no escape from it. May He take our souls away when we're in a state of submission to Him and may He make the day our souls are reunited with Him the best day of our existence. Ameen.
كَلَّآ إِذَا بَلَغَتِ ٱلتَّرَاقِىَ
Nay, when (the soul) reaches to the collar bone (i.e. up to the throat in its exit),
وَقِيلَ مَنْ ۜ رَاقٍ
And it will be said: "Who can cure him and save him from death?"
وَظَنَّ أَنَّهُ ٱلْفِرَاقُ
And he (the dying person) will conclude that it was (the time) of departing (death);
وَٱلْتَفَّتِ ٱلسَّاقُ بِٱلسَّاقِ
And the leg will be joined with another leg (shrouded).
إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ يَوْمَئِذٍ ٱلْمَسَاقُ
The drive will be, on that Day, to your Lord!
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return.
God willing, stay tuned for Part 2: Benefitting from the Scholars.
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1 In the Islamic faith, we don't believe in original sin. A a child is born "sinless" and retains his/her free ticket to enter Paradise until he/she attains mental and physical maturity. Dying as a child can be a blessing for the child as well as his/her parents because not only does he/she go straight to Paradise, the child can also serve as a means of letting his/her parents into Paradise if they died in a state of servitude to God.
2 Khabbab reported that he asked "O 'Abdullah Ibn 'Umar! Did you hear what Abu Hurairah says? He says that he heard Allah's Messenger, saying. 'Whoever leaves his house to attend a funeral prayer, offers funeral prayer, and then follows the funeral procession until the body is buried will receive two kerats of reward, each of which is like the mountain of Uhud. And whoever offers the funeral prayer and then leaves for home will get a reward like the mountain of Uhud" (Muslim). Ibn 'Umar sent Khabbab to 'Aishah asking her about the statement of Abu Hurairah. She said, "Abu Hurairah has told the truth." When Ibn ' Umar was informed about this he said, "We have indeed lost many a kerat."
3 One night the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) left his home in the middle of the night without telling his wife, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), who lay next to him. Aisha followed him secretly to the graveyard and when he came home, he (peace be upon him said):
"Gabriel came to me when you saw me. He called me and he concealed it from you. I responded to his call, but I too concealed it from you (for he did not come to you), as you were not fully dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep, and I did not like to awaken you, fearing that you may be frightened.
He (Gabriel) said: Your Lord has commanded you to go to the inhabitants of Baqi' (to those lying in the graves) and beg pardon for them.
I said: Messenger of Allah, how should I pray for them (How should I beg forgiveness for them)?
He said: Say, 'Peace be upon the inhabitants of this city (graveyard) from among the Believers and the Muslims, and may Allah have mercy on those who have gone ahead of us, and those who come later on, and we shall, God willing, join you.'"
- Sahih Muslim Book 004, Hadith Number 2127
4 Every verse in the Quran is called an "ayah" which can be literally translated to: proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.
Mashaa Allah! Such inspirational story. Jazaakillah for sharing this. :)
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